Holiday Easy: Does the Term Holidays Make You Go “Yea!” or “Ugh”?

Does the term holidays make you go “Yea!” or “Ugh”? Maybe you find yourself starting on the “Yea!” side, and then halfway through find all the holiday sparkle burned out on the side of the road before the first batch of cookies are baked? My personal emotional downslide was always holiday cards. I start with enthusiasm for grand ideas that will bring cheer to all the people in my world, and end with cramped hands and tears over not doing enough. It doesn’t have to be like this. There is another way, I promise. 

No matter where you find yourself, we here at The Joyful Support Movement are never going to judge. No matter how, when, or if you celebrate the holidays this season, we’re here to help you navigate them in whatever way feels right for you. 

As much as we want to believe we can put more on our overloaded plate (both metaphorically and physically), the truth is there is a breaking point. That belt buckle needs to be released if we eat too much, and the floor becomes our familiar crying spot if we overcommit. We do not have endless buckets of resources, and we need to learn how much we have to give of ourselves before we hit the wall. 

The holiday season adds an additional layer of expectations and deadlines on top of what we are already juggling on a daily basis. So how in the frosty snowflake do we enjoy the holidays without burning out?!! 

I’m giving you permission to enter the holiday season with a different mindset. Instead of doing (overdoing) what you have always done and feeling burned out, you can have a useful one-size-fits-all tool that takes into account your own resources. 

Step 1: Recognize your current resource levels. We all have three buckets of resources: time, energy (physical and mental), and money. The amount of resources in each of these buckets shifts constantly and isn’t the same for everyone. Understanding this baseline truth is the beginning of your new improved approach to the holidays and beyond. 

Step 2: Get familiar with the Good, Better, Best tool. This tool gives you permission to assess your resource buckets (Step 1) and adjust your choices based on your available resources. And I say “permission,” because many people don’t realize they need outside validation to slow down, do less, or say no. Consider this article your permission. I’ll hand out as many permission slips as you need to make it through to January 1 and beyond so you can enjoy pure, unadulterated freedom to say no to pressure and yes to joy. 

The Good, Better, Best tool is the dimmer switch of choices that allows you to answer requests based on your personal resources at the moment. If someone asks you to make 5 dozen cookies for a holiday party, stop and evaluate your buckets. 

Energy: Have lots of physical energy, and your love of baking cookies fills your mental energy 

Time: No time in the week to buy, prepare, bake, and deliver the cookies Money: Extra money available to purchase 5 dozen cookies 

So instead of saying no because you don’t have the time to bake from scratch (Best option), you can say yes to purchasing the cookies (Good/Better option). This approach allows you to scale up and down on any choice this holiday season that will help you preserve your resources and sanity so you can still say “Happy Holidays” and not “Bah humbug” due to empty buckets by the middle of December. 

Here are some more concrete examples of Good, Better, Best for this season: 

Holiday Cards

Those holiday cards that used to send me in a tailspin every season, I pivoted to Good, Better, Best, and my season is much brighter. No more thinking that I have to do it the same as others, or even that I need to do them the same every year. I assess my resources and make a choice that works for me.

Content:

• Good – Send a funny holiday gif to friends and family
• Better – Store bought cards
• Best – Unique photo shoot with coordinating colors in a favorite location

Delivery:

• Good – Text
• Better – Hand write the address, copying from each card
• Best – Addresses printed by card maker

Postage:

• Good – None
• Better – Stamps on hand, regardless of theme
• Best – Personalized stamps

The point is to stay in touch with those you don’t see on a regular basis and share good wishes. If the bar is set too high given your time, energy, and money, then it isn’t going to happen no matter how well-meaning your holiday wishes are. My holiday cards vary each year in how many I send, what I send, and even if I send them. And this feels good to me, because I’m leaving extra time, energy, and money in my resource buckets to make it through to the New Year.

Holiday Meals

Food:

• Good – Purchased meal
• Better – Homemade: turkey, stuffing, Pre-made: mashed potatoes, roasted green beans
• Best – Homemade: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, roasted green beans

Table:

• Good – Disposable plates
• Better – Regular, daily use dishes and flatware
• Best – Fine China, silverware and crystal glasses

Decorations:

• Good – Holiday movie playing in the background
• Better – Store-bought festive items
• Best – Lit candles, seasonal music, mulled spices filling the air

Here’s what’s great about this — you get to pick and choose the elements of the meal that spend more of your resources. Whatever your choices, the equation balances out as long as you feel good when you sit down! Your fine china might not make you holly and jolly if you woke up at 4:30 a.m. to hand-peel chestnuts, have a splitting headache, and haven’t sat down all day. But if you have the resources AND using fine china brings you joy — then go for it! 

A holiday movie and disposable plates may not scream “Idyllic Holiday Meal,” but at least you won’t be screaming at one another for the timing of the turkey. And as long as you are sitting with people you enjoy (or only have to pretend to enjoy for 60 minutes), then use that Good, Better, Best tool however you need to in order to get through the holidays. 

We want to hear how you are going to make your holidays easy this year. Share your thoughts and questions with us at Village.JoyfulSupportMovement.com.

We are always here to listen, and will never judge you for making holiday choices that align with your resource buckets. (Even if it’s eating cookies in your pjs instead of attending that holiday party!) 

Author Bio

Sara Kelly is a co-founder of the Joyful Support Movement, where she helps individuals navigate life with more ease, compassion, and joy. Learn more at JoyfulSupportMovement.com.